Emotions… surprises… disconnections…
*Maddy isn’t used to saying how she feels because her partner reacts so negatively when she does. The frustration rises in her. She tries to push it down and is successful many times… until one day when she isn’t. She tells Danny, “I want a divorce.” He’s left stunned and devastated.
Michael screams, “You’re a piece of garbage. Fuck you!” Josh loudly returns the same. It didn’t lead to a physical altercation, but their friendship is forever changed.
Josef can’t get a handle on his boss. From day one, they’ve clashed. They fight over small details. His boss says black; Josef says white. The tension rose and culminated with Josef sitting in HR, holding a termination letter because his boss didn’t feel he was a “team player” and was sick of the conflict.
Megan has never felt as though she fits in with her family. The other members like the same things and have the same sense of humor… but she’s always unsure about how to find a connection with them. She tries to communicate but is met with blank stares. Eventually she withdraws from the group.
Rarely is the sentiment a problem, but a bad presentation always is.
You can say anything (and I mean anything) if it’s packaged well.
You never have to forego honesty… you just have to use soft language.
“I hate you” shuts a conversation down (or blows it up). Saying, “I feel really hurt by you” hits the other person in the heart. It makes them want to listen and course-correct.
“You shouldn’t” puts someone on the defensive, because you’re telling them what they’re about to do is wrong. “I wonder what you’d think about…” opens up the conversation and indicates that you want to trade opinions.
You’ll gain confidence, armed with the keys to great communication.
Effective communication and “soft language” are an art form that I will pass onto you in our sessions.
You’ll learn the words, statements, and questions that open up a dialogue or stop it dead in its tracks.
When we meet, we’ll talk about the challenges you’ve had in your communication style, and I’ll offer ways to re-purpose the old communication to make something new, that gets you the results you’re looking for (Can you say, “Better communication leads to better results?!”).
Sometimes this means using less words. Sometimes it will mean using more. Either way, your words will be more constructive and engaging.
I’ll give you the tricks to find better, deeper connections by “Getting on the Catwalk,” “Pumping up the Volume,” “Becoming an Archeologist,” and so much more. No clue what these things mean? Don’t worry. I’ve got you.
Through our sessions, I’ll show you how these techniques work. They will net out to keeping a conversation going, find commonalities, and enriching your relationships.
This all adds up to less chaos, disappointment, and higher quality relationships.
Great communication starts with a wish and grows with a phone call.
Ring me, and we’ll start practicing! (818) 971-7155
*Names changed to preserve client confidentiality.